Parents tell us…
What have you found difficult?
- Having my daughter but not having my son
- Looking and spending time with my children, especially my daughter’s twin, and there’s an emptiness in me
- Knowing it’s a day about mother and child and I don’t have my child any more
- Only remembering and most times this isn’t enough
- We would always do things together and my son would love to buy me flowers, etc.
- Having my first Mother’s Day without my 31 year old daughter
- Meals with the special person missing are hard
What have you found helpful?
- Do things together as a family but still visit my son’s grave
- Try to have fun – bowling/swimming
- Speaking about my daughter to my husband and children – taking time for myself and my thoughts
- Surround myself with family
- My best way to cope is distraction, not denial but to keep my mind busy to save extra pain
- I always put up his card but make sure that I always spend time with the other children, remembering him too
- Making sure I have time on my own, space to look at photos. Read special tributes and just remember
What advice would you give to other families?
- Talk about how you are feeling and plan what you will do together
- Talk to people who understand that time moves on but memories never do
- Do what you want, not what you think will suit others. Talk, cry, laugh, remember
- Make sure you give a lot of attention to the other children despite coping with your grief. They feel sad too. Always include them in memories of what you’ve previously done together
- Be gentle on yourself and do what is right for you. It may be that you feel it important to ‘be there’ with other family members, but if time for yourself feels important, make sure you get some!